There is a big risk that a marriage will end in divorce – in fact almost half of marriages end that way. There is much you can do to avoid becoming such a statistic, and rekindling your first love and finding the roots of your relationship can save your marriage.
Tips to Get Back on Track
You need to focus on what brought you together. What is it about your partner’s smile or about some other special aspect of your partner that you originally fell for? Think back to those moments.
Furthermore, agree to settle things over a nice bottle of wine and a candlelit dinner. Get kids off to the in-laws, and agree to get things talked through. Find common ground – if you have any left. If not, you can try building and finding common ground so you might be able to agree on how to proceed.
Find time in your mutual calendars to get away from kids, telephone and e-mail occasionally. Nothing kills romantic times as these time-robbers. Friends can be nice, but sometimes you just need to be yourselves – as grown-up people who started building a family together.
The aspect of time alone is often discussed among experts. Some claim you should spend as much time with your kids, and that is also partly true. But you also need time to yourselves. There is no getting around this if you want to keep your marriage together.
How Others Reach Anniversaries
Good marriages are based on so much more than only sex. You need to understand and bond with one another at so many levels to be truly committed to one another. You must agree to mutual commitment to reach anniversaries. If you only have a fleeting relationship, a shipwreck is just around the corner. You must improve your bonding elements to stay together for the long haul.
It’s just like a soccer match. You know there are periods of game, and periods of rest. In a similar way you have phases in a relationship. A time for kids, a time for grandkids – but also a time for friends, and a time without friends. If people can’t understand that aspect of your family life, you have the wrong type of friends, and you will want to change your network so everyone accepts and respects your choices as a married couple.
In Conclusion
You can get back together. You need to find that common ground, and once you recapture this, you stand a much better chance of surviving external factors.
I thank you for reading this article, and would recommend you read the e-book Preventing a Divorce which can inspire you to prevent ending up with a divorce at a fraction of the price of marriage counselling. You can find the e-book described right here: http://keepmarriage.info/
If you wish, you may follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/henrikblunck.
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